Did you know that you don’t have to let your circumstances ruin your life? No matter what happens to you, you can still choose peace. You can still choose to find the glimmers in the hard things. That doesn’t mean you avoid processing the hard things. You need to make time for that too, but I’ve found that working with the flow of life works a lot better than resisting it.

I’ve gone so far on this journey that it surprises me when I see someone, and they instantly seem very unhappy. Because of the news. Because of Donald Trump. Because their job is hard or their circumstances are difficult. Because of things that they have literally no control over. Why are you letting those things ruin your life? That serves no value to you, and it only gives more fuel to the person who is harming you.

Here’s the thing: life probably won’t get any easier. You just get better at handling it. I learned this lesson the hard way in 2023. Suddenly, I found my whole life flipped upside down, as I was in the middle of an unexpected divorce and laid off from my job at the same time. Oh and I moved to a new city and sold a house and embarked on the process of reclaiming myself all at the same time. I could have chosen to be a victim through this process or to fight and make it ugly, but instead, I let go, and I chose to think of it as the universe clearing the slate for me so that I could build a life that better suits me. I chose to be the best person I could be no matter what happened to me. No matter what someone else said to me. Even when it felt unfair. Especially when it felt unfair. There are lessons in everything that happens to us, and these lessons help us get to our highest selves, but we have to be willing to learn from those lessons and to embrace them with gratitude.

2024 was another year of evolution — the year I learned to surrender to the flow of life. In February, I took a solo trip to Orcas Island, and I sat there for hours, watching how the water moved. (I was also reading A New Earth during that period of time.) Pockets of water would flow together, and then apart. Pockets big and small, flowing in a beautiful harmony with the tide moving in and out. A few months later, I found myself dreaming of becoming a duck. “Wouldn’t it be so nice to just be a duck? You’d only have to think about duck things. No rent. No job. Just float around. Squawk at things. Find food. Float around more.” Then I was like “bro, you don’t have to wait for your next life. You can be a duck now.” You can choose peace now. No matter how choppy the sea is.

There is something about nature that helps us remember that rhythm is key to life. Ebbs and flows happen all around us in nature, but we forget that they happen within us too. With our emotions, we collect them over a period of time, then release them. Illness helps us release what needs to go too. People move in and out of our lives, and the more we try to control or grasp onto them, the worse it gets. I’ve started applying this rhythm concept everywhere I go. With my kids, I sit back and let them flow as much as possible. I actually did a similar thing with my team at work this year. I gave them a clear vision, and I let them go. I probably shouldn’t “say this out loud,” but we didn’t even write down most of the requirements. It was all flow, and they completely blew me away with what they built in response.

I’m not saying this sort of flow is easy to work with. Just like how a duck needs to decide when to cross the current or flow with it, it can be really hard to hold space for this sort of flow to exist in human life. It requires a vision for a better future and an unwavering belief that what you are setting out to do is possible. It requires patience. Restraint. Discernment about when to speak up and how. And most of all, it requires trust. I don’t always get it right, but life sure feels a lot better than it used to, and it’s really cool to see these pockets of creativity and magic emerge in a world that can feel pretty heavy these days.

I know many folks are probably looking ahead to 2025 with dread. We don’t want it to be this way. So don’t let it be that way! It’s really that simple. Be the vibe you want the world to be, grow that pocket of magic, and eventually, if enough of us do this, the world will surely follow.